Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Backstory

hello, I am Nicole Vilencia and I am addicted to instant gratification in the form of social networking.  Facebook has many redeeming features and I love being able to interact with family and friends there.  I love it too much.  I am also a habitual poster.  To be fair, I do a radio show and am a self proclaimed provocateur.  I like making people think and I like sharing information.  In an average day I likely have no fewer than 12 Facebook posts.  A majority of the 600+ people on my friend list are actual friends in life.  A handful are people I've met through discussion groups online whose minds fascinate me.

A friend pointed out that I have been talking about the same goals forever and not doing anything proactive to meet them.  it got me thinking about my own level of personal discipline.  I have always lacked discipline on long term projects.  I prefer things that I can accomplish in bursts of energy and throw out into the universe completed.  Facebook really allows the part of me that is gratified by minor interactions and accomplishments rather than more significant ones to have a place to become further distracted.

I have Facebook on my laptop, which I take to work.  I have it on my Sprint Evo phone, which is always within reach of my person.  I am always Facebook accessible and always have access to Facebook.  I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and grab the phone so i can check Facebook at the same time.  The first thing I do after turning off my alarm is check my Facebook to see what's going on.

In many ways, my social interactions on Facebook have replaced my in person interaction.  I can feel like I'm getting interaction without having to look someone in the eye.  I can bare my heart, tell my secrets, confess my sins and feel loved, validated and redeemed with zero contact with another human being.  This doesn't seem right.

So here I go....an exercise in discipline.  I will post to this blog once per day but I will not interact with any blog comments, although they will be appreciated.  I will leave my Facebook profile active so that friends can tag me and leave comments to the page but I will give my cousin my password and have her change it for me for the 60 day period so that I cannot have access or potential for access.  (Even if I deactivate, I know me....I'll peek.....so I have to turn it over to someone else.)  Additionally, I'll be doing a 60 day juice fast in complement with my Facebook fast.  I'm attempting to restart my system, physically, socially and emotionally.

I am curious to see who I actually have contact with during this time.  Who among those who are so active in my day to day life right now, will seek me out in a less convenient way.  Who will write letters or call.  Who will show up in person and prompt interaction in a real and meaningful way.  Mostly though, I am curious to see if I can recreate my paradigm in a way that allows me to be as fascinating to myself as the hundreds of Facebook friends I follow are each day.  If I will become as interested in helping me and meeting my goals as a result of this new kind of discipline.

I don't think it will be easy.  I think it will be lonely.  I think I'd better have a list of things to do to keep my brain busy so that when I have the urge to explore it is simply not an option.  I hope to keep my computer closed more and my mind open more.  I hope for more walks with my daughter and my dog and the tangible evidence of time well spent towards meeting my personal and professional goals.

Best regards,

Nicole Vilencia

9 comments:

  1. I believe you can do this Niki, It is true FB takes so much of our time. It'a the same with cell phones, "instant gratifaction" no one waits to get home discuss the days events, what do we talk about around the dinner table?

    Way to go Niki!!!

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    1. Well, I believe very much in attacking the disease, not the symptoms, so I am attempting to make that my approach in this exercise. Thank you for your cheer leading Terry :) I appreciate it.

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  2. I love you and I'm so proud of you! I will still keep in contact. So no nom noms while on the juice fast I'm assuming? I'm hoping you will still call, text, or send pigeon to answer that question. If you are lonely you could start dancing with me! It's great excercise, super fun, and you get to meet interesting people. Good luck hun. I know you are cabable of achieving anything you put your mind to. Xo

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    1. well, we can have raw salad/juice nom noms. :)I love you. infinity.

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  3. You were the first person to post about a possible homicide in Hunter Park. Knowing that the high school was wide open and packed with theater goers and sports fans, I snagged the admins and alerted them to let the kids know how to proceed with caution. I was very appreciative that night that the kids hadn't started walking home before your warning. Score 1 for Facebook.

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    1. How could I not reply to this? Thank you. I do not think Facebook is a bad thing at all. I think my lack of self discipline is a bad thing and this is an exercise in that for me. You may have noticed, I tend to be an all or nothing girl. I am working on learning to better moderate myself and not give in to my whims. I don't want to stifle myself creatively or reduce the potential impact I have on the world around me. I do want to streamline, center and come into my own space of balance. This is an exercise. This is an experiment. This is a practice. This is a principle driven circumstance with an expiration date that provides me an opportunity for greater self awareness instead of self indulgence. This is day 1. Within a few weeks I anticipate taking you up on one of those walks I avoided taking. :)

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  4. Oh Niki...I sure hope this juicing diet thing is going to be ok for you...I have suffered with my weight since birth and can soooo relate to all you posted about how it effects almost everything in one's life...my youngest child...tho 22 now...has suffered as well...Have you ever tried the Dr Atkins diet?...I have gone from 326 pounds to 279 in four months...no hunger to deal with...and enough energy to clear out a hoard of blackberry bushes!!...it seems a much healthier way to go and its a way of eating for life for me...not a "diet"...but the way I must eat in order to control my meat suit!...I feel like a little alien trapped in a huge meat suit...wanting to get out so bad...lol...Have you taken any thought about what will happen when you stop juicing and start eating again?...living on juice only just seems un-natural to me...but I suppose it can also be a great jump start for a healthier way of life...Dr Atkins is a very healthy diet...and his induction phase of the diet is also a fantastic jump start to controlling one's meat suit!..he was a board certified CARDIOLOGIST...and he didn't die from a heart attack which soooo many think happened...he slipped and fell on ice and fractured his skull...so sad...But he was a wonderful M.D. and literally saved my life as he did for thousands of other people (his patient's) as well...as his way of eating is what keeps my meat suit functioning well...I URGE you to get his book..."Dr. Atkin's Diet Revolution" and read it during your 60 days...I'm 55 years young and have ALOT of experience and recipes to help anyone make the Atkins diet enjoyable and successful!...*sigh* I guess for me seeing you hold up a glass of juice as your only food source sadden me soooo much...My meat suit shudderd!!...lol...Maybe it was the look on your face tho to...Not alot of excitement there...I would have loved to see the sparkle in your eyes as you were about to cut into a T-bone steak grilled in real butter with saute mushrooms and a lobster tail next to it and a fresh green salad with ranch dressing!!...That's an example of just one of many things that can be had on Atkin's!!...If my meat suit can lose the weight eating like this...drop my cholestrol down by 20 points...and lower my blood pressure from 192/110 to 121/74 in just 4 months...Then I know you can do it as well...and be eating like your cheating to, but NOT!!...Hope you will check it out Niki...I just worry about juicing diets and a person's health...Ok...I'll get off my soap box now...Just know your listening minion out here thinks the world of ya Lady!!...and there's such a better way to better health!!!!

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    1. Sharon, thank you so much for caring enough to write. How many of us girls are raised to believe if we just stuff some meat in our mouth everything will be okay. :) I've evolved past that. I am very aware of The Atkins Diet. I have medical conditions that do not make me a good fit for that diet. Also, I have a family history of colon cancer and gorging myself on meats is not likely to be an activity that is in the best interest of the health of my colon. Please trust that I have thoroughly discussed this with my doctor and she agrees that it is okay for me to go down this road as I have planned to do. I am being monitored and have a full panel of labs with another scheduled at the time my doctor deems is appropriate.

      Also, something to consider.....even if you disagree with another person's methods, when someone is trying to make changes and already has a plan it may just be best to be supportive of them and trust that they and their doctor know what is best for their body. Throwing another plan at me when I'm already engaged in a course of action just makes me WRITE MORE and doesn't change my course of action.

      But again, THANK YOU for caring.

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  5. Thanks Niki for reminding me what might work for one...dosen't mean its for everyone...Struggling ALL my life with a severe weight problem...I found Atkins works so well for my body and mind...and I do get on my "soap box" about the diet to much...lol...Please know I didn't mean to come across as not being supportive...So sorry...in fact...your an inspiration for me and I'm sure for many others for taking control and implementing a wonderful plan not just for weight loss...but wanting to communicate more on a personal level with others...Technology today is allowing us humans to be home more...but with less interactions with other humans...not a good thing...and I'm sure it will get much worse...Your journey has opened my eyes to this fact even more so...and you will remain an inspiration for me to see where I can make changes in my life in these areas!...Thanks for that Lady Niki!! ;)

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