Twelve days left until I can plug back in and I am wondering if I will. I was in a conversation with my co-worker about what I miss being off of Facebook and I had to admit that it isn't much.
I don't miss being stalked by my ex's paranoid girlfriend. Or the other crazy lady that makes my life miserable via her husband every time she has a spazz attack about me. (Hi neurotic basket cases, thanks for reading. If you think this statement is about you, it probably is.) I don't miss people's indignation when I don't know *every* minute detail of their life just by being their Facebook friend. I don't miss being asked "Did you see what I posted?" while they snicker, refusing to tell me and instead making me have my personal experience with them over the impersonal venue of the masses online. I don't miss the pseudo culture. The hoaxes. The parade of bandwagons on which to jump.
I will say this, anyone on my friends list, family included, who hasn't taken the time to contact me outside of Facebook during this hiatus, when my contact information is available on my "about" page to my friends is going to be removed as a friend when I get back on. This means I'll go from about 650 friends down to about 50 which will make my friends list MUCH more manageable and Facebook much less consumptive.
I am really shocked at the number of people I considered to be good friends, who live right here in my own town, that have not even sent so much as a text message during this down time. I'm sorry, I don't have a single friend that I let 60 days slip by without contacting. Hell most of them hear from me at least once a week on some level.
So I can log back in twelve days from now but I envision my participation to take a turn and my availability to as well. I will still photo blog my life. I will still keep up with the people who matter but my circle is getting smaller, tighter and more complete. My patience with surface level interaction is waning. If you're not worth knowing completely, I completely have no desire to know you.
I want a life of flesh. Not skin. I want a life of knowing the beat of your heart, not the flush of your cheeks it causes. I want you under my skin and me under yours and if we say we are friends I want it to be because we have known the worst of one another and accepted each other unconditionally with love.
So thanks Facebook for giving me access to 450,000,000 people who use you on a daily basis, about .00000125 of those are my "friends" right now and .0000001 actually behave like friends. All this connection certainly leaves one feeling a disconnect!